Robber-kun and the Six-Iro God Sempais (IRO MEANS COLOR IN JAPANESE)
by LitteraeTerribiles
Summary: An "The Settlers of Catan" Fan Fiction. The Robber's life is changed forever when he is stranded on the island of Catan. Will he be able to stop the Blue Cities' invansion of the island? Will he be able to save Wood and Sheep's relationship before it's too late? Will he be able to find true love? All of these questions, and maybe a few more, are addressed within.
1. CHAPTER ONE: THE BEGGENING

**CHAPTER ONE: THE BEGGENING**

The Robber woke up from the dream he was having. He looked into the mirror next to his bed. I am looking good, he thought. He was about an inch tall with a ashy-gray complexion and wooden skin. Unlike all the other pieces in his high school, he didn't have right angles. They all made fun of him, but he new he had a special density.

"I need to get to school" said the robber and he hopped on the boat to go to "_Board Game Peice School"_ but little did he know that there was a big storm coming in that day that would change his life forever.


	2. CHAPTER TWO: HIS LIFE IS CHANGED FORNEVE

**CHAPTER TWO: HIS LIFE IS CHANGED FORNEVER**

He was on the boat when the storm hit the boat "Oh no" he said as the boat began to tip "we are going to drown"

But little did he know he had a special density awaiting him, so while all the dice and metal pieces sank and drowned he drifted on the waters

"What will I do he said as the tide carried him towards an island" Oh look an island! "I will swim there" so he swam there. He was the fasted swimmer in his class but he did not brag about it.

When he got to the island all he saw was sand. "Gee this is a lot of sand" he sighed contemptuously. All of the sudden a brown rectangular prism came out of nowhere and tackled him to the ground!

"I didn't see you there," said the brown rectangular prism. She was the first brown rectangular prism the robber had ever seen. She had her grain in straight lines roughly parallel to the orientation of her dimensions, and a square profile when viewed from the front. Her coat of paint was fresh and she was not even dented on her corners. "You are very pretty complimented the robber thank you thanked the brown rectangular prism."

"What is your name?" "My name is Brown Road." "My name is robber," stated Robber. "I am lost. I was just washed ashore to this island."

"Well I am afraid I do not know anything about that, but I know someone who might." "OH do you?' "yes I Do," explained Brown Road. "Let's go to the desert and talk to the Desert Sage. She will tell us everything

So they went to the desert where it was hot and sandie and they walked a long time. "Cant we walk faster," whined The Robber, "No we can't said Brown Road," because there are no roads. "Your a road," "But I haven't been played. Haven't you ever learned anything?"

"No I do not know about this please explain." "Okay, so how it works is when a piece is born they are kept to the side of the board and cannot go onto it." "The board?" "As you know, the board is this island. "Okay, so how are you on the island?" "I am not supposed to be if I am caught they will throw me into the _Jenga_ set." "That sounds terrible please continue."

"The game hasn't started yet, so no one is really enforcing it. But now that you are here, I fear it will begin soon." "What Game?" "It is the "_Ultimate Game,"_ where the Six Kingdoms war with each other and try to expland."

"Okay, I understand everything stop talking," said The Robber. Brown Road stopped talking and they continued through the desert. Eventually they got to a shack that was dusty and they went inside. There was an old woman sitting on the ground and she looked up and exclaimed: "It is the _chosen one_! He has arrived on _Catan_!"

"The chosen one?" said The Robber, " I do not know about this CHosen ONE business. " It is very important, " said the desert sage. "Now the reckoning is upon us. You will have to travel to all the Red Numbers in the land and steal an ancient artifact from each in order to bring balance between the "_Six Gods"_."

"Okay, so I need to get the artifacts," nodded The Robber. "So explain everything else so that I am not needlessly confused for the rest of the story." But all of a sudden there was a huge thud, like the sound of two giant cuboid plot points falling from the heavens and bouncing on a table!

**ITS A SEVEN**' said a voice from above, and The Robber felt himself lifted up into the air. "Oh no put me down" he cried, but the hand did not. "I will save you" screamed Brown Road, but suddenly a hand grabbed her as well!

**I ACTUALLY DONT WANT MY ROAD THERE**,' said another voice, and the other voices (there were six voices) grumbled and eventually said OKAY and they put Brown Road somewhere else where The Robber couldn't see her. Meanwhile, he was being carried over the island off to a godforsaken sheep pasture on the far edge of the board next to another desert.

**LOOK NO ONE IS THERE**' one of the gods said. and they put him down. He looked around but there was none there not even a sheep. On the ground was a giant disc with the number : 2 on it. "OH look it is just like the Desert Sage explained: it is a mystical artifact that I will have to collect something similar to," he exposited to himself. But the disc was black, not red, so he ignored it.

MEANWHILE ELSEWHERE on the island there was a young knight lying facedown atop a stack of her dead comrades. All of a sudden she felt herself lifted up and set somewhere else! She looked around and she was off the pile of her dead comrades and now off the board even.

Her name was Knight and she was very brave. She stared long and hard at her surroundings. "The Green God has clearly chosen me," she said, looking at the Green Tribespeople gathered nearby. "Maybe soon I will fulfill my density and meet the Chosen One!"

A whole round passed, when suddenly Knight found herself being lifted up again and she was all of a sudden on the island on a sheep pasture! There was a handsome grey cylindrical piece nearby, with a roughly round head and some sort of collar, and a base that stood up pretty well. He was the only gray piece she had ever seen.

"Hello, Gray Piece," she said, looking at him. He looked back. "Hello, who are you?" he inquired. "I am Knight, I was sent here to fulfill my density, which is to find a The Robber and bring glory to the Green God."

"Well I am a The Robber," informed The Robber, and Knight was very happy. She smiled with her mouth. "Oh great let's go," she smiled. "But wait! Where is my friend Brown Road." "I do not know about Brown Road, but maybe if we travel together we will meet her." "Okay," sighed The Robber, and they Set off.


	3. CHAPTER TWO: SETTING OFF on AN adventure

**CHAPTER TWO: SETTING OFF on AN adventure**

They ended up at another sheep pasture, but this time the number was red instead of black! "This is it!" evinced The Robber. "Is what?" "It is the holy artifact" "Okay but the sheep belong to the Blue God, so you can't take them.' But Knight did not know that The Robber was Special and could take cards even from the gods! And so he took the sheep Artifact and gave it to The Knight to hold. "I think you are supposed to have it," said The Robber. "Okay, I will send it to my God though. " That is fine I think that is how this is supposed to work."


	4. CHAPTER THREE: THE LAST CHAPTER

**CHAPTER THREE: THE LAST CHAPTER**

This went on for a while! It was a very long time as Knight kept helping The Robber collect all the artifacts, and eventually they got them all! They also met up with Brown Road again, but she was wedged between a White and a Red road and could not go anywhere. "I am sad," she said, but she is not in this chapter and will remain sad until we see her again. Anyways, they got all the Red Number Artifacts and brought them to the Green God.

But then the Robert found himself in the desert again!

"You have done badly," forewarned the Desert Sage, "one God isn't Suppoed to have all the artifacts, they are supposed to be distributed evenly. Now you have misweighted the farces of Karmic Destiny and there will be a great catastrophe!"

"Oh no" shrieked The Robber, because he realized what he had done. Because all the artifacts were in the possession of the Green God, he had become Too Powerful and all the other Gods had embargoed his lying ass!

"If you do not stop him, he will complete the Holy Trinity and win The Game," howled the Desert Sage. "You and your companions must ensure another God wins, for the sake of Universal Balance." But none of the other gods had more than eight points!

"This could be very bad," said the Robber as he contemplated his next action. Then Knight appeared to him!

"I am ashamed that I partook in this clamnity said Knight. "I have reformed, though, and am fighting for Brown now."

"That is good, but Brown only has eight points!" The Robber expounded vehemently. "We are too late to stop the Green God!"

But that's when Knight tore off her helmet and armor. Underneath, she was wearing a suit and a monocle. "I didn't want to tell anyone, but I am actually Monopoly," she whispered defiantly. "It is my power and my curse."

"Monopy! I have heard rumors about the famous Monpopoply!" chorused The Robber jubilantly. "With our powers combined, we might have a chance!" "Join powers with me!" said Knight (actually Monopoppy) "and we will defeat Green God once and for all!"

They joined hands and started sparkling. Robber transformed into magical wand and the suit sprouted wings and grills and they spun around allot. When all the frills were finished sprouting, Monogamy took the wand that was also The Robber and pointed it at the Green God.

"Your rain of Terror is over, Green God," she exhaled brilliantly. "Give me all of your… WOOD!"

**OH NO** rumbled the Green God, who had hella wood up in his hand like the lumber market was going out of business. His fingers turned into stone and started to crumble and the cards fell and Monpomply grabbed them with the wand/The Robber and delivered them safely into the Brown God's hand.

"My service here is through," said Monopropane, and her transformation sequence ended. The Robber turned back into the robber and landed on the Green God's eight of wheat. "But the Brown God still doesn't have enough pints!" he trilled.

The Brown God looked at her hand. It was mostly wood, and there was a brick there too, so she built a road because there was little else she could do.

**AHA, LOOKS LIKE I WILL WIN NEXT ROUND** exhorted the Green God, who in between rounds had completed the Holy Trinity and now held a chapel in his grubby fists. **I WILL HAVE TEN POINTS AND WIN**.

"Not so fast!" chortled a voice from the middle of godforsaken nowhere. It was Brown Road! "With me, the Brown God has nine consecutive roads now, and that makes hers the longest!"

The Green God roared a roar like a tire deflating after getting pumped full of shotgun pellets, and then died. Everyone cheered because the Brown God had acquired "_Ten Victory Points_ and won!

"You did good," said the desert sage. "Yes, very good job everyone," said the Blue City, who appeared earlier off-screen.

"I am so glad to have friends like you," blushed the Knight as she and The Robber and Brown Road celebrated their victory.

"I am just Glad I came to _Catan_," said The Robber.

**THE END**


End file.
